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Minnie Mouse (A house all at sea!)

Minnie, Minnie, Minnie Mouse!
Came home, and couldn’t find her house!

Did someone take it far away?
And will they bring it back today?

Is it made of stone or wood?
In a storm would it have stood?

Was your house then made of sticks?
Or hay or straw, or maybe bricks?

And did you say that it was blue?
Oh, Dearie me, what shall we do?

Did you say it was quite near?
Did you say it was right here?

Does your house like kangaroos?
Perhaps it’s gone off to the zoo?

Does she like a mountain breeze?
Perhaps she’s gone to the Pyrenees?
(No, but I know she likes an OCEAN breeze!)

Could it have gone off for a swim?
Perhaps we’ll find her at the gym?

Did she have wheels and roll away?
Perhaps we’ll find her by the Bay?

Yes, I remember, it was on the coast!
'Cos that’s the place I love the most!

And it was as I recall low tide…


And she does shift from side to side….
Oh No! She’s gone out with the tide!

Look! There she is, my pride and joy!
I should have tied her to the bouy!

Now she’s floating all at sea!
Oh, Dearie, Dearie, Dearie Me!

Minnie, calm down, you know it’s Monday? (nods yes)
And you know you live in the Bay of Fundy? (nods yes)

And the tides here they run fifty feet? (nods vigorously yes)
Then I reckon she’ll land on that beach!

Monday’s tides are always high
But I have to wonder why

Why did she let go of her line
What would make her so inclined?

At that, the house hit solid ground
Groaned a bit, then settled down

“I’ll never go to sea again!”
“I didn’t like the waves and rain!”

And then, still shaking, looking pale,
“I only went to see the whale!”

Lexington Lizard

Lexington Lizard was born in a blizzard;
At least, that’s how it seemed to him.
Just a bad storm, on an island quite warm,
But you feel the cold more when you’re slim

Now Lex knew a dog, a racing road hog,
A greyhound, by the name of Rex.
They hung out together, in all kinds of weather,
And the gym, where he worked on his ‘pecs.

The big town race; Rex dreamed of first place,
But he needed a coach to win.
When you start to slow.. a good coach makes you go!
Oh, what a state he was in.

Rex trained for weeks; he was looking quite sleek,
He set off well at the start.
He could hear Lex holler, from inside his collar,
And it gave the big dog heart.

If he could keep up his speed, the win was guaranteed,
He pulled away from the pack, headed south.
He sped down Main, like a hurricane,
Caught the finish line tape in his mouth.

“Lexington Lizard! – As a coach – You’re a wizard!”
“Lex, Matey – are you all right?”
“W-When you run, Rex, you shake! It was like an earthquake!”
“I was holdin’ on for dear life!”

The moral of the story, is to go for the glory,
And get yourself a good coach like Lex!
Keep your coach close at hand,

so you can hear each command,
And you’ll be a winner like Rex!


The Seashell

One day I found a seashell,
As pretty as can be.
It was a shade of lemon
That appealed to me.

I took it home to keep,
I took it home to see.
I put it that seashell in a box,
And took it home with me

I held the seashell to my ear,
And it began a song.
“Take me back to my home
To the sea where I belong”

“I’m not a shell for you to keep;
For only for you to see.
And I will sing this song,
Until you set me free”

“I was a pretty seashell,
Until you brought me here.
First I’ll lose my colour,
And then I’ll die, I fear”

“Take me back to my home,
To the sea where I belong.
Until you set me free,
I will sing this song.”

I took that seashell back to the shore,
Once there I set her free.
The brown turned back to lemon light,
Beauty for all to see.

The seashell was alive again,
But the lesson was for me.
So when you find a seashell,
Leave it there for all to see.

A Lizard On My Leg

He looked at me
I looked at him
I thought him cute
I named him Jim

I lined the cats up, One, Two, Three,
Now listen carefully to me
Unless you want a new venue
Lizards are off the menu!

Now Jim and I are friends for life
I’ve met his kids, I’ve met the wife.
She’s really nice – her name is Meg
And Jim, a lizard on my leg.

Easy now, I said,
I know you’re scared
Yeah, he said “Not half!”
And moved himself onto my calf.

Now do you think
You could let go?
At which he leapt
On to my toe!

I know you’re getting
Fond of me,
But could you do it -
Off my knee?!

I am becoming
Fond of you,
And turned a
Softer shade of blue

“Should I call
The Trauma Team?
You’ll looking… well..
A little green”

“I’m just so shaken”,
With a frown,
He turned a duller
Shade of brown.

“If you were me,
And a cat did that,
Wouldn’t you
Feel rather flat?

The cats they caught me
On the floor
Perhaps I’ll move up
On this door

Or maybe I should stay
“THIS high?”
And with that,
Moved on to my thigh!

“Now really, James,
I’ve had enough
I’m sorry that
The cats were rough”

“I can’t work with
A lizard on my leg
Off you go –

The Four Cats

There was Dogie, Fluff, and Big-boy,
Oh, and Fred, (who lives outside),
The four cats and myself,
Spent the winter, side by side.

Early the first morning,
Fluff's up and about;
It's only three in the morning,
But she wants to be let out.

And when they'd had their breakfast,
And I'm hungrier than most,
Fluff brought me a mouse,
That she thought I'd like on toast.

Big-boy is so aptly named,
He eats more than his share,
He loves to lie in cupboards,
With his feet up in the air.

I left him in my room one day,
Drawers open - without a care,
Imagine my surprise to find him
In my underwear!

Then there was the advent
Of the Christmas Tree,
Or really, I should say,
Fred's curiosity.

Not content with climbing
To the top and having fun,
He knocked off all the ornaments,
One by one.

Even as I sit here,
Writing out this song,
Dogie's into everything,
"Helping” me along!

If you want days full of interest,
Cats are great company,
Lovingly unpredictable,
At least, that's what they - told me!

The March Of The Cats

One! Two! Three! Four!
All cats accounted for.

Basil’s in the kitchen
Elsa’s in the Hall
Emma’s in the bedroom
It’s a free-for-all!

Twiglet’s in the garden
Chasing butterflies
Lapping up the sunshine
Under sunny skies

Basil’s in the laundry now
Snoozin up a storm
He likes it when the dryer’s on
It keeps him warm

One! Two! Three! Four!
All cats accounted for.



I could do with a windfall - I need a break
I believe in inheritance - don't want to wait

I'm lookin' for a money tree - yeah, I'm on the take
Don't talk to me about principles - they're a mistake

Yeah, I was such a fool back then - now it's all too late
I could’ve been sittin' pretty now - on my Estate

My boss who pays my wages - he says the cash flow's low
Just pay me what you owe me man - I don't want to know

My bills come pretty regular - I'll spare you the detail
It can't go out 'til it's come in - cheque's in the mail

I'm lookin' pretty shabby now - my clothes are all threadbare
I don't need no fancy duds- but - I don't wanna share

Guess that wraps it up for me - don't wish nobody ill
But as I said to my relatives, just put me in the will

The Angry Blues (When Alice Stuart Came To Town)

Since Alice Stuart came to town,
Everybody’s been feeling down;
Feelin down, we’ve got the blues,
And it’s goin around.

I’m feelin down, down and out;
That’s what that lady’s all about.
She brings you down til you feel good;
Singin the blues the way you should.

That Michael Cacy - He’s to blame;
He’s the reason that she came!
(And I ain’t been the same -since Alice came.)
He met her in some US town;
Now everybody’s feelin down.

I’m also blaming Jeannie Flath;
She can have some of my wrath.
(She gave Alice Bed and bath!)

I can’t leave Neil Burnie out;
Animal man can Play and shout.
If you say He can carry a tune,
I’ll see you on the back side of the moon.
He’s even got a band called Bones –
They’re always playin bluesy tones.

Neil Burnie – Harmonica man,
Plays the strumstick like nobody can.
(That’s because no one else has one!)
I say Put Neil Burnie in a cage,
And throw the Bones in - I’m in a rage!
Don’t let that man back on stage!

I call this song the Angry Blues;
Man, this is so outrageous!
How’d they let in something so contagious
As real blues?

What’s up with our border patrol?
This is affecting young and old!
It’s like a virus going wild
Affecting every man, woman and child!

Has everybody gone insane?
We’ve all got the blues – it’s plain as plain,
Plan as can be, plain to see;
What Alice Stuart’s done to me.

Since Alice Stuart came to town,
Everybody’s been feeling down;
We’ve got the blues,
And it’s goin around.

Tucker Man

My name is Tucker Man, and this is my sad story
It’s about a lot of things, but mostly territory.
My lady, she’s an author; she’s written about me
Of days of wine and roses, and short-lived Royalty.
Like many cats before me, I was King just for a while
And like the Coopers store in town, I had my own style.

When I was just a wee lad, a bundle of gray fur
With my brothers and my sisters, life was just a blur
My mother had the cat flu, & all of us were sick
My lady dashed us to the vet, Endsmeet or was it Ettrick?
It’s there that I was treated, my lady bathed my eyes
Gave us cuddles, fed us well, and listened to our cries.

My siblings got their sight back, but I was too far gone
I became a Special Needs, and Royalty was born.
Of course, I was so handsome, my lass could not resist
A rich and smoky silver gray, and loving me was bliss
I thought I was the only one, the great love of her life
Imagine my surprise to find I had a wife.

And not one wife but four, and more that I could tell
A multi-kitten household, this did not bode well
The girls were not too bad, some were even fun
And then one day, an alpha male stepped into the sun
They found him in a dumpster, at Four Star Pizza, Flatts
My life has slowly gone downhill every day since that.

There’s only room for one on stage, not that I really care
When they found him in that dumpster,

they should have left him there

I pace the kitchen counter, I yip and cry and whine,
And I pee on the toaster because it was once mine
I also pee on curtains; they hold my scent so well
Mico’s competition and he can go to hell.

Riding on Air

You’re riding on rubber, you’re riding on air
Helmet’s unfastened, but you don’t care
You’re racing on rubber, racing so fast
Cops will never catch you; and then you crash

You wanted to fly; you got your wish
But did you really mean for everything to end like this?
If you did care, we wouldn’t have to feel blue
If you did care, we wouldn’t have to bury you

Saw your name in the paper, pictures of you
Funeral Directors, doing what they do
Five minutes on Facebook; five minutes of fame
Betcha by tomorrow they won’t remember your name

You wanted to fly; you got your wish
But did you really mean for everything to end like this?
Now you’re just a number, six feet under
Now you’re just a number, six feet under

You didn’t think about your loved ones
Who would be left behind
Every day for the rest of her life
On your Momma’s mind

You’re riding on rubber, riding on air
Helmet’s unfastened; now do you care?

Christmas Is

1. Christmas is holding hands and hugs
Trains that go chug-chug
Hot embers on the rug!  aaagh! Quick, put it out!

– (sounds of stomping)
Expressions of love

2. Christmas is remembering the joys
Soundly sleeping boys
Tip-toeing with toys – crash! – “uh - Dad, is Santa OK?”
Expressions of love

3. Christmas is being of good cheer
Parties celebrate the year
Drinking too much beer – hic!
Expressions of love

4. Christmas is that magical Christmas Eve
Knowing you believe
Gravy on your sleeve – oh no!
Expressions of love

5. Christmas is family and friends
Time to make amends
What on earth did Grandma send?

– (last year it was inedible!)
Expressions of love

6. Christmas is cats on the windowsill
Knowing you’ve had your fill
The ringing of the till – ding ding!
Expressions of love

7. Christmas is cookies in the jar
Letters from afar
“Honey, where did I leave the car?”
Expressions of love

8. Christmas is multi-colored lights
Waistlines getting tight
Why didn’t I assemble this last night?

(sounds of frustration)
Expressions of love

9. Christmas is log fires and mistletoe
Seeing friends you know
Which end does the stuffing go?
Expressions of love

10. Christmas is mince pies and cinnamon
“Can I open another present Mum?”
How do you know when the turkey’s done?
Expressions of love

11. Christmas is things you don’t really need
Like exotic flower seed
Daddy, the puppy just (p..d!)…er - had an accident

– oh no, not again!
Expressions of love

12. Christmas is cranberry sauce –home made
Games you’ve always played
And “I ain’t gonna work today!”
Expressions of love

Take Me With You

Take me with you when you go,
You needn't be alone, you know.
For, dare I say, there comes with me
An inkling of Serenity.

And when you can't take any more,
I will make you feel secure.
For I will with my little rhyme,
Remind you one step at a time..

That feelings flow more deeply now,
Because you're growing, learning how,
To change some things, and to control,
In doing so you've become whole.

So whether good or bad a feeling,
It's a sure sign of your healing.
So take me with you when you go,
You needn't be alone you know.


How deep can love go?
How much can love grow?
In a year or so,
In just a year or so?

Feels deep to me,
Feels red and raw,
And something that
I’ve never felt before.

Sweet love there was,
And sweet love grew,
As if all roads in my life
Led to you.

It was like coming home,
Home to stay,
And I would not have had it
Any other way.

I wrote you songs,
Great songs of love,
Of happiness
And stars above

So when you left,
When you left me,
I surely wish the earth
Had swallowed me.

Yes, when you left,
When you left me,
There was no light
Or harmony.

When you left,
When you left me,
I shattered like the sunlight
On the sea.
Deep wounds take time,
Take time to heal,
Hard to believe that
This was real.

Yes wounds take time,
Take time to heal,
Meantime this is how
You’re going to feel.

So I held on,
Said “This will pass,”
“He’ll slowly slip away
Into my past”.

My leaking eyes,
My lonely tears,
Were symptomatic
Of my fears.

I told myself
To take my time,
There’s physical, and then there’s
Heart and Mind.

A memory
Is all you’ll be,
Of deepest love that
Came to me.

To die alone,
And without you,
Is not the only thing
I’ll do.

To see me now,
You’d never know,
I’ve been to hell and back
Where I did not want to go.

Another man,
Can have me now,
It’s just a case of
When, and who, and how.

It’s not as if
I haven’t tried,
To strangle our love
Many times.

To end this rhyme,
Or reason last,
I’m moving on, you are
My past.

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